What would you do if you fell in love with someone who you had never seen before, you'd never touched before? Really, how would you act? Would you act upon those feelings, those impulses?
Welcome to the blog of a girl, who did. Let me take you back to over two years ago:
I was fifteen at the time, it feels like so long ago but in reality I guess it really isn't. At the time a lot of things were happening in my life, none of them good. I found a way to vent, a way to talk to people about how I was feeling. A chat site online, more like an avatar world. (I won't give any names to the site since it's irrelevant). I met Joshua around October 2009, he was so interesting to me. The very first chat, wasn't a chat. He got me to get straight on a microphone and we spoke voice to voice. Usually it's unheard of on this site to get straight to voice chatting, however I thought it might be fun and it was. I remember the first time I heard his voice, it was such a calming sound - it still is. We continued chatting each day, I kept looking forward to seeing his name pop up and would wait around to talk to him. He did the same every time I was away at school too...
December '09 he admitted he had feelings for me, I was overjoyed. At first I was unsure whether I should really be in a relationship with a boy I'd never met. I had a few friends in real life tell me that it's not worth it, nothing good would come out of it, it's not love, it's just weird etc. etc. etc.. But I did, I dated him and that is how we began. From then onwards came many skype sessions, to the point where we leave skype on every single day, even when we're out. We watched lots of movies together (downloading them and counting down until we were on sync) we played many games together, we've had a lot of talk about everything. In fact I really think we have covered everything, he knows me like no other. I think he can even cover things my closest friends wouldn't know. I guess we're as close as we can be.
Around Jul '10 Josh had a break down, he asked me "Are we ever going to be anymore than this? Are we ever going to touch, see each other? Do we have any future at all?" Amongst all the tears between the two of us I swore I'd find a way to see him, I'd save up to get to him, and that's what I did. The following month I found a job and started working part time including school. However I found most my money was not building up which worried me a lot and I no longer was concentrating on school around me. I continued anyway. By the end of 2010 I decided to take a year off my final year and work full time.
At the present I have two jobs and I will see Josh in exactly 14 days. The family is not happy about it, but I am. All my hard efforts up until now are going to be all worth while. I've created this blog to type down my feelings and post a few pictures from the trip. I can't wait to finally be where I've worked so hard to be. This is something I am proud to post and say "I did it."
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