Today was Sunday; the day I see my father. Today was no different. He gave an extremely stern look to me when I answered the door and a mini argument began within the first 5 minutes of seeing one another. I was surprised my grandmother stood up for me and Josh. It made me feel warm inside to know she was thinking of us. Dad and I don't usually argue at all, in fact we never did until I brought up Josh.

My dad took me to a small cafe and had lunch. I spoke most of the time about my plans, where I plan to go, what I'm doing with money etc. He seemed kind of relieved that I knew what I was talking about. I kept a smile on my face as I spoke to him, I think I even saw him slightly smile at my enthusiasm. He is a lot calmer then he was when he found out I was leaving, but since buying the tickets he tries to talk and not raise his voice at me. I'm kind of glad though. haha.

When we got back to my fathers he rang Josh's dad for the first time. (Which was planned earlier that morning). My dad and him talked for about ten minutes. I only heard a bit of my father's side of the conversation because I had two phone calls in between from both my jobs. The bits and pieces I heard from the conversation were things like "I am just worried I hope you can understand that and why I am.." "Please take good care of her, if anything goes wrong I have a cousin who lives five minutes from you.." "This has all came as a bit of a shock to me but we'll let this play out and see what happens whether it's good or bad.." And many many other things which I won't drag on about.

After he got off the phone dad looked at me and said "Alright Audrey, I won't worry anymore, not until you get there. Promise me when you get there you will ring me right away. Please." I smiled a huge grin and said "I promise." I think deep inside he still worries but he's extremely caring and doesn't want me to stress anymore than I was last week. I worry most about my step mother though.. She is an extremely strict woman who I have never been able to get along with. She comes back from her holiday in Albania this week... (I can't give the exact date because my sister is trying to keep her arrival a secret!). However like Josh has told me: "She has nothing to do with this." So I guess, maybe that's what I'll tell her if she gets involved..

Dad took me back home where I had a small skype chat about what had happened. Josh seemed amused by it all but was glad my dad was finally going to give me air to breathe. My grandmother came in and asked how everything went, we had a quick chat about it. Then she smiled, pointed at the computer and said "is that Josh?" (We were on Skype). I nodded and she asked "Can I talk to him???" "Well Josh, want to talk to my grandma?" I said to Josh. "Yea sure." He replied. I gave the headset to my grandmother. It was funny watching the two, I didn't catch what either said except for "Make sure you look after her." They got along well for their first chat, which was another load off my back!

My grandmother offered me her suitcase, although I still had a red one that my mum had given me exactly for America. I put the two up next to each other, I'm still uncertain which one I should take. The red one is bigger, however the other one is very neat and pretty. Hm..

What do you think?

*

So I actually made a small mistake yesterday it's not fourteen days until I see Joshua, it's twelve today which was thirteen yesterday. I guess it could really count as fourteen for yesterday since I leave on the 18th of October and arrive 13 hours later to America also on the 18th, which is Australia's 19th. Ah, confusing. Anyway let's just say twelve days!

For my last 12 days in Australia I plan to work until the end (if my boss lets me).. I am trying to catch up with my closest friends before I go, I was thinking of having a small dinner with work friends, school friends, soccer friends.. however the HSC (Higher School Certificate) is the day I go.. so most the people I would invite are most likely studying (or supposed to be). On the weekend I am going to a fair with two of my closest friends I've known for ever.

As for today (I am literally in the office) I have to take my camera back tonight and beg the store to get me a new one, it turns out something got into the lens.. (but I didn't do anything to it :C) If they don't give me one I'll ask for the money back, I honestly NEED my camera for America, what can I do without it?!


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F.A.Q - Here's some questions I get asked quite often, not so much online but real life. Here goes!

~ What do your parents think?
My mum was the first to find out before anyone, at first she didn't think much would come out of our relationship but she began to grow accustomed to it. I brought Josh to dinner (skype on my laptop with the camera on) and she used to have chats with him. Now she is desperate for me not to go because she is worried about what could happen and that I might never come back!

As for my father he is extremely strict and completely against all boys. It came as a shock when I told him (Which took me a few months to do!) He dislikes our relationship completely. I told him two months in advance that I was planning to see Josh which freaked him out, he wanted me to wait until December so he could come with me but I can't wait that long since I have school in Feb and wanted to spend as long as I could with Josh.

~ Do you ever worry about Josh? As in do you ever wonder if he's not real, or he's cheating on you and/or lied to you?
Well I've thought about it, a long time ago. Since then I've had this question a LOT. To be honest I spend so much time with him, even when I'm at the office. He wouldn't have time to have another relationship on the side even if he could. I trust him anyway, Joshua is the last person who I'd expect to be like that. Also I believe 100% he's a real human being, he's the real boy I love. I see him every single time we skype, I've spoken to his mum, dad, sister, grandfather and grandmother and his cousins. I've seen him move from a different home, I've seen him holding things I've sent him over the mail, I don't know how much more proof is needed to show if he's "real". As for lying, in every relationship trust is needed. I will give him my full 100% trust until he gives me a reason not to. So far he hasn't given me any reasons so! Yup.

~ Is it hard?
Yes. It is possibly one of the hardest things I think a person could ever do! Is it worth it? I'm sure it will be. For now I just have to wait, patiently. These last 12 days feel like the longest.

~ How do you think both of you will act when you finally see one another?
I've asked myself this question many times. I'm an extremely shy person but also can be very hyper and talkative to someone if I know them well. I do know Joshua well but I also love him. Which will bring out my shy side AND my hyper/talkative side. I don't know which will come first. I really would love to just run up to him at the airport but /)_(\ I can't do that heh. I will post on here how I act on the first day and many days to come. For now.. I can't even answer this.

Well that's all for now, if you have any questions don't be afraid to ask, I always love answering things and I'll try my best with anything that is asked. Thanks again for reading <3

From the beginning, to the present.

What would you do if you fell in love with someone who you had never seen before, you'd never touched before? Really, how would you act? Would you act upon those feelings, those impulses?

Welcome to the blog of a girl, who did. Let me take you back to over two years ago:
I was fifteen at the time, it feels like so long ago but in reality I guess it really isn't. At the time a lot of things were happening in my life, none of them good. I found a way to vent, a way to talk to people about how I was feeling. A chat site online, more like an avatar world. (I won't give any names to the site since it's irrelevant). I met Joshua around October 2009, he was so interesting to me. The very first chat, wasn't a chat. He got me to get straight on a microphone and we spoke voice to voice. Usually it's unheard of on this site to get straight to voice chatting, however I thought it might be fun and it was. I remember the first time I heard his voice, it was such a calming sound - it still is.   We continued chatting each day, I kept looking forward to seeing his name pop up and would wait around to talk to him. He did the same every time I was away at school too...

December '09 he admitted he had feelings for me, I was overjoyed. At first I was unsure whether I should really be in a relationship with a boy I'd never met. I had a few friends in real life tell me that it's not worth it, nothing good would come out of it, it's not love, it's just weird etc. etc. etc.. But I did, I dated him and that is how we began. From then onwards came many skype sessions, to the point where we leave skype on every single day, even when we're out. We watched lots of movies together (downloading them and counting down until we were on sync) we played many games together, we've had a lot of talk about everything. In fact I really think we have covered everything, he knows me like no other. I think he can even cover things my closest friends wouldn't know. I guess we're as close as we can be.

Around Jul '10 Josh had a break down, he asked me "Are we ever going to be anymore than this? Are we ever going to touch, see each other? Do we have any future at all?" Amongst all the tears between the two of us I swore I'd find a way to see him, I'd save up to get to him, and that's what I did. The following month I found a job and started working part time including school. However I found most my money was not building up which worried me a lot and I no longer was concentrating on school around me. I continued anyway. By the end of 2010 I decided to take a year off my final year and work full time.

At the present I have two jobs and I will see Josh in exactly 14 days. The family is not happy about it, but I am. All my hard efforts up until now are going to be all worth while. I've created this blog to type down my feelings and post a few pictures from the trip. I can't wait to finally be where I've worked so hard to be. This is something I am proud to post and say "I did it."